Worst. Person. Ever. by Douglas Coupland

Author:Douglas Coupland [Coupland, Douglas]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Humorous, Literary
ISBN: 9780399168437
Google: 6x5ltfE8lwwC
Amazon: B00CCPIINW
Barnesnoble: B00CCPIINW
Goodreads: 17797081
Publisher: Random House LLC
Published: 2013-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

30

We looked at the pills in their Ziploc baggie. I was about to tuck them into my pocket when Neal said, “You know, Ray, why not give these pills a try right now?”

I considered this for a moment. “Hmmmm … You know, Neal, I like your attitude. Indeed, let’s say ‘yes!’ to life.”

We each popped one; they tasted bitter, sort of metallic. Sarah and Elspeth declined, and we got back into the van, Neal at the wheel. He asked, “Sarah, why do we have to buy groceries? Someone in your position shouldn’t be doing scoutwork like that.”

“Because of the nuclear crisis, all food shipments to the island from Australia and Fiji have been stopped indefinitely. The locals don’t know this yet—we have a one-hour head start to secure all we need for the shoot. We have to clean the stores out before word spreads and looting begins. Let’s just go in, max out our credit cards and exit without leaving a ripple in the water.”

The goats before us had cleared to make way for our van. Fortune was smiling on us.

Gilbertese, or Kiribati, is a language from the Austronesian family. The word “Kiribati” is just the modern rendition of “Gilberts,” after Captain Thomas Gilbert, who happened upon the Gilbert Islands in 1788. Unlike many languages in the Pacific region, Kiribati is far from extinct, and most speakers use it daily. About thirty percent of Kiribati speakers are fully bilingual, also speaking English.

FUN FACT: One early difficulty in translating books into Kiribati was references to features such as “mountain,” a geographical phenomenon unknown to the people of the islands of Kiribati (heard only in the myths from Samoa). Such adjustments are common to all languages. For example, the Gilbertese word for “airplane” is te wanikiba—“the canoe that flies.”

About 107,500 people speak Gilbertese, as follows:

In Kiribati: 98,000

In Fiji: 5,300

In Nauru: 1,700

In Solomon Islands: 1,230

In Tuvalu: 870

In Vanuatu: 370

In Ooga Booga: 13

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